Sidetracked
by Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs
Summary: As Kvar's human ranch is infiltrated by Lloyd's team, the Cardinal has a conversation with Pronyma concerning the missing Angelus Project research data.


"Pronyma… Pronyma! PRO…NY…MA!"

A hologram displaying the leader of the Five Desian Grand Cardinals, Pronyma, appeared on Kvar's terminal. "Yes Kvar?" She appeared to be in the middle of something and was very impatient at the moment, despite her attempt to remain professional.

"Greetings Pronyma. My Exsphere manufacturing is currently on schedule, although the Chosen's posse are attempting to ruin it like they ruined Lord Magnius'. How are you today?"

"Kvar, I'd appreciate it if you cut the pleasantries and got to the point of this conversation," Pronyma said. "I am very busy at the moment and do not have time for idle conversations."

"My apologies. Recently research data from my Angelus Project has either gone missing or been accessed without my authorization," Kvar explained.

"You still say research weird," Pronyma interrupted. "It's RE-search, not ress-SEARCH. You're too fast and put emphasis on the wrong syllable."

"Pronyma do not dodge the topic at hand."

"We'll get back to that in a moment, this had been bugging me for a long time. And when a half-elf says a long time, they mean a _loooong _time," Pronyma continued. "You pronounce a lot of words strangely, you have weird emphasis and stuff like that. It's very annoying."

"I don't have time for your pet peeves! I believe that you have been stealing ress-SEARCH data from my Angelus Project in an attempt to keep others from gaining more favour in the eyes of Lord Yggdrasill!"

Mithos Yggdrasill appeared beside Kvar. "I heard my name."

"Kvar, don't say his name without meaning," Pronyma warned. "He hears anything that involves it!"

"It's an annoying habit of mine," Yggdrasill said. "When Magnius saluted me as his last words I nearly got killed in the ranch explosion."

"No more interruptions!" Kvar said, his tone rising. "My apologises my Lord. But Pronyma, have you been stealing my ress-SEARCH data?"

"No I have not," Pronyma said. "I have no desire to be involved in your stupid projects, I have my own things to worry about that will keep me in higher standing in the first place. Dammit, one of them is getting loose! One moment!" Pronyma disappeared from the projector.

"I should probably tell you that she is very busy most of the time," Yggdrasill said. "The phrase 'all work and no play' defines Pronyma perfectly."

"What exactly are her projects?" Kvar asked.

He got an answer as Pronyma reappeared on the projector, brushing some blood off of her hands. "Bioengineering projects," Pronyma said. "I take random animals, enhance their genes or fuse it with others, and throw them all across the world. These random monsters will battle anyone they see out there and become quite a nuisance to anyone attempting to cross the globe. Of course, I only do this in the declining world to make our world regeneration schemes more noticeable."

"So that's where all those random monsters come from…" Kvar muttered.

Yggdrasill nodded, impressed. "I knew I put you in charge for a reason."

"You put her in charge because Lord Kratos was getting tired of Magnius hanging around Vinheim all the time," Kvar reminded him. "He said vermin too much and Kratos was insulted. Honestly that man was a brilliant leader if you put aside his… numerous vital flaws."

"Like the incessant evil laughter?" Pronyma piped in.

"Yes."

"And the overly complicated traps?" Mithos added.

"Yes. Why are you a child?"

"What about the fact that his arthritis made his biceps have to be at a ninety degree angle to his torso?"

"That too Pronyma, but-"

"His fetish for teleporters?"

"Let's get away from the Lord Magnius insulting for a moment and why the hell are you in that massive machine Lord Yggdrasill?!"

"It makes me feel safe," Mithos said as he sat inside of the Judged, the Fugitive, and the Neglected combined. He disappeared to Derris Kharlan again.

"We're getting far too off topic. Pronyma, I don't believe you."

"How do you know that it isn't Rodyle stealing your data?" Pronyma asked. "He does that kind of thing. He once stole a very special Exsphere that I created. I told him it enhances the user's strength tenfold, but it really just disintegrates them."

"That's a big flaw."

"Yes, I killed the ones who made it. Back to the point, if something is missing it is probably Rodyle. He loves stealing things, he once stole all of my shoes, which by the way is why I float all of the time. I don't want my only pair of shoes to get dirty anymore," Pronyma said, motioning to her feet.

"Rodyle has his own things to worry about," Kvar said.

"Like the Mana Cannon?" Kvar resisted flinching when Pronyma said that. "We recently discovered the details on Rodyle's secret Mana Cannon, he is not very subtle about what he tries to hide from the other Cardinals. Lord Yggdrasill even- No, we don't need you for anything sir. Our leader is also aware and wants to see how badly he'll fuck this up."

Kvar nodded in agreement. "I see. That is quite a strange scheme he has going there. Still, with a Mana Cannon he would not have the time to also work on my Angelus Project, which is also running around out there on some kid's hand. He will most likely return here after what I said to him earlier."

"If you don't think it is Rodyle, then what of Forcystus? He has no projects at the moment, it would make perfect sense for him to be stealing your research data. He's wanted to be in charge of the Five Grand Cardinals for as long as I've known him."

Kvar shook his head. "No, it's not Forcystus. He's working on creating a cleaner that will keep that arm cannon of his sparkly and shiny forever. I don't know why, he's been out of it mentally since Lord Magnius told him that he smelled like grapes. Frankly, I think we should replace him sometime soon."

"Already working on it," Pronyma said. "I was going to unveil this on Tuesday but now seems like a good time. I found a Desian who has the potential to be a Cardinal, he is powerful, cunning, and just got eaten by a dragon. I hate myself." She sighed, cupping her face in the palm of her hand. "Moving on, I think that it _is _Rodyle stealing your stuff."

"Nonsense, we agreed that he is too busy with his Mana Cannon."

"That thing is pretty much done, he definitely has time to steal and work on your Angelus Project!"

"Well let's bring him up, shall we? Rodyle… Rodyle! RO…DY…LE!"

"What, what do you want?" Rodyle's hologram appeared beside Pronyma's, although he looked a lot more irritated than she did. "I swear, it takes more than two seconds to answer a call. You could have more patience than that!"

"My Angelus Project ress-SEARCH data has gone missing, and at first I was blaming Pronyma but she brought up some very good points which point to-"

"It's research you fool, RE-search! You pronounce that word so strangely," Rodyle interrupted, ignoring Kvar as he ground his teeth together.

"Two against one," Pronyma said. "We win."

"Forcystus… Forcystus! FOR…CYS…TUS!"

"What is it Kvar?" a third hologram appeared on the other side of Pronyma.

"Do I say ress-SEARCH weird?" Forcystus' hologram disappeared. Kvar sighed and dialled him again.

"_This number has blocked your calls_."

Kvar punched the console before remembering what started this conversation in the first place. "So Rodyle, have you been stealing my data?"

"No I have not, I have better things to do than steal your project data. Now if you'll excuse me I have some issues to deal with." Rodyle's hologram faded away.

Kvar nodded. "See? He said he isn't."

"But… You… I SAID I WASN'T TOO!" Pronyma screamed. "Honestly… what the hell?!"

"Rodyle has proven himself much more trustworthy than you are," Kvar said. Pronyma's neck twitched as she reached out in an attempt to strangle Kvar, not caring that one of them was a hologram. Kvar took a step back, even though it wasn't really Pronyma. He knew she'd find out a way to actually do it.

"Okay, breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out…" She seemed to have calmed down at this point. "Rodyle is definitely not more trustworthy than I am."

"Stop derailing this conversation, this has nothing to do with Rodyle's trustworthiness," Kvar told her.

"Hell no, this is important! How is that bastard more trustworthy than I am? We've proven that he's a lying thief so why the hell do you think that?"

"He came to my birthday party, all right?" Kvar admitted, looking away from Pronyma. "No one remembered that I was having one aside from him and Lord Yuan. He made me feel appreciated."

Pronyma groaned, barely able to believe that she had just heard that. "Are you serious… Damn, I can't believe that I actually had a one night stand with you…"

"You said you wanted to do someone smart," Kvar said, grinning.

"No, that was an excuse so that I could get close enough to see if you actually have eyes on your face. It turns out that you do not."

"I do so have eyes!"

"What colour are they?"

Kvar glared at her. "Green."

"I call bullshit." Kvar was about to start yelling at her when the warp pad that accessed the room activated. "Someone coming, Kvar?"

"I think I know who it is." On cue, Lloyd, Colette, and Kratos entered the room through the warp pad. "The boy with my Angelus Project, the Chosen of Sylvarant, and Kratos." The trio approached them.

"So, this is Lloyd. I see, he _does _bear a resemblance," Pronyma said, glancing at Kratos. The mercenary not so subtly flipped her off.

Kvar glanced at the new guests. "I will be with you all in a moment." He turned back to Pronyma. "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't change the subject again, Pronyma! It's become very clear you've been stealing ress-SEARCH data from my Angelus Project."

Pronyma scowled. "I've grown tired of your senseless accusations, Kvar, not to mention your pronunciations," she added at a volume that only the two of them would hear. "As I told you, I know nothing of it. I have told you my thoughts but you have not taken them into consideration I see." Irritation was seeping into her tone.

"Stubborn woman. I supposed I should expect no less from one who usurped the leadership of the Five Grand Cardinals," Kvar said. "Take heed, Pronyma. Once I retrieve the Exsphere from this _inferior being_, I will become the leader of the Five Grand Cardinals. When that happens, you'll be begging for my forgiveness."

Pronyma snorted, seemingly holding back a laugh from that comment. "You speak nonsense, Kvar." She adopted a thoughtful expression. "I've also heard that Rodyle has talked you into joining him in one of his 'schemes'." She made sure that he knew what scheme she was referring to. Kvar displayed neutrality on the outside, but mentally he was scared stiff by this knowledge. Yggdrasill definitely did not approve of the Mana Cannon being in Rodyle's hands, and if Kvar was helping then he was just as guilty. He would have to sever his assistance immediately to stay in favour, Rodyle's reaction did not matter if Yggdrasill was involved. "But it would be best not to believe that you can deceive Lord Yggdrasill for long." Pronyma disappeared before Mithos arrived again.

Kvar scowled. "So the Mana Cannon is no longer a secret. Well, it doesn't matter."

"It's pronounced RE-search," Lloyd said.

"That's it, you're dying now."


End file.
